Think Before You Speak

I was watching Tyra Banks’s new Daytime Talk Show (which I love, btdubbs, and highly recommend you check out!) called The Fab Life, and loved how raw and open all of the hosts were today. Chrissy Tiegen (for those of you who don’t know her, she’s the AH-MAZING model, TV personality/host, Instagram famous, foodie/chef wife of singer/song-writer John Legend) opened up about her struggle, right now, with trying to conceive a child and Tyra chimed in along with her crying, “You don’t know. You don’t know what I’m going through. You have no idea!” Apparently, Tyra also has been struggling with invitro treatments while being pressured by fans on social media asking, “Why don’t you have kids??” Point being, she made me start to cry when she zeroed in on the camera, and viewers out in TV Land, reiterating that you never know what a person is going through. So true! So, so true!!

I’ve dealt with this a lot from family and friends while living in California, but even more so when I moved back to the east coast. My cousin, one day, said to me, on my first visit to see her new home, “Cara, you still have time but not a lot of it! You’re getting older. And it gets harder and harder to meet people. A lot of the good ones are already taken, so you gotta jump on it!” Had she not thought that this was something I already am struggling with?? Did she not think that I am already worried I’m not going to be able to find anyone, have to settle or worry about dying alone? What? Did she think I was clueless?? This only heightened my fears and my anxiety, which only stressed me out more and did not help my already fatigued body…

To see a different side of the coin… I had felt like one of my close friends from high school had been acting strange towards me ever since I moved back to NJ. At first, I tried to not be too heady about it, but it started to really hurt my feelings when we were on a group text and she didn’t acknowledge what I said or ever ask me how I was feeling. When we were all together and talking in a group, she would never look at me or include me in the conversations. Now, I’m not one of those people that doesn’t pick up on the “You can’t sit with us” hints, so I finally confronted her about it.

At first she pretended like she didn’t know what I was talking about, ending with telling me that “it will just take a little while for things to get back to how they used to be before [I] moved to Cali.” I didn’t feel like that was the whole of it, until I really understood what she was going through… My GF finally opened up to us at our other friend’s bachelorette party trip in Key West, FL venting to us about her marriage problems and struggles with being a new and working mom. (Good for her! Venting is healthy! AND Rightly so!! It is DAMN hard to be married and a working mother. Marriage is no joke people. It is a commitment and you need to learn to compromise and work on your relationship every day. It’s like a full time job in and of itself!… let alone HAVING a job AND a baby?! I give all of my friends MAD props for this. [Insert hands clapping emoji.] I certainly am not ready for all of it and marvel in how strong my friends are that are! And are KILLING it! So shout outs to y’all! 😉 ) But she also said, “Not for nothing,” and then pointed out to me, that my sister was reaching out to her on Facebook more than I was. I didn’t agree with this at all (because the phone and social media work both ways and I never felt like she had any interest in me or what I had going on in my life) but I calmly responded by saying that my sister and she were in the same places in their lives (married and having babies) so they were able to relate to each other more… I also explained that my sister tells everyone that has a child on Facebook “We should get together!” LOL so…. yeah. Things are great between us now though! We just needed to get those things out. (Again, venting is HEALTHY!!) So I tell you all of this, to point out that we needed to see things through each others’ perspectives because, like Tyra said, you never know what another person is going through!

I try to remember this on an every day basis. (And it’s hard! Trust me, I ain’t perfect either!) But you can do little things to help you remember this stuff. After reading  The Four Agreements (a phenomenal soul-imrovement book, by Miguel Ruiz, that teaches you to never make assumptions, be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally and always do your best- no more, no less!), I wrote the “laws” down on post-it notes and stuck them on my fridge- a place I was SURE to see them (what can I say, I love to eat! ;P ) These rules have helped remind me that I do not always know what another person is going through. We, as women, should be ESPECIALLY mindful of this and set examples, because we have the power to feel and express so much more empathy than men. If you don’t know why a person is being distant, don’t assume you did something wrong like I always do/did (I’m working on this 😉 ) cuz it probably has nothing to do with you. (Insert a sigh of relief here.)

We should also work WITH each other and ENCOURAGE our fellow women to be our strongest and best selves! Did you watch the 2015 Emmy Awards last night?? Strong and talented actresses like Viola Davis, Uzo Aduba, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Allison Janney gave amazing and inspiring speeches that should have encouraged women all over the world that you can do whatever you set your mind to and we must SUPPORT EACH OTHER! Stop being jealous and cutting other women down for their looks, opinions and successes. Where does that get you?? It might make you feel a little better for that instant, but not for long, cuz it won’t elevate you to where they are… And it certainly doesn’t help men in taking us seriously if we are constantly nit-picking and being critical of our fellow gender. Women say they want equal rights, but what right do we have to ask for them if we all can’t stand together? If you don’t like a person/agree with him/her (female OR male), there’s no reason to belittle him/her. We are all in this together and like Thumper’s Mama used to always say, “If can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.” 😉

Hope this helps! Happy Monday y’all! Stay motivated and true to yourself this week and always 0:)

Oh! And on the even MORE positive of notes… my scoliosis doctor’s office called today and asked me to be a referral for a girl that came to see them and is on the fence with having scoliosis surgery. I told the nurse that I would be happy to speak with her! “Anything I can do to help,” I said 0:) So that feels good! And also gives me the push to finally start writing about my scoliosis journey and posting my videos! Sooooooo….. until next entry y’all!

xoxo,

Your Little Fighter

Take that Fear!

Fear. Fear is something that has been very, very real with me for the last six years. But as I read Michael A. Singer’s New York Times Best Seller and Oprah recommended novel (so obvi, I needed to read it), “The Untethered Soul“, I realize that it’s something that I’ve struggled with all my life… and I’m not the only person out there struggling with it.

We are all afraid. (It’s only human.) But sometimes when you don’t confront it, or nurture yourself after feeling it, it can reek havoc on your life. I became so plagued with fear, while living in California, that it took a toll on my body and soul. I spent my weeks walking in and out of auditions and casting workshops, performing in front of live audiences, constantly rattling my nerves, and my “down time” was my side job cocktailing to pay my rent and make a dime. With that kind of lifestyle, it’s inevitable- you are going to experience burnout. (Yes, it’s natural to be scared when you walk into a room, meet two to three new people and have to prove to them that you are the right person for the job. It’s like that for people when they walk into interviews for new jobs… no matter how confident you are or how prepared you are, it’s still a little nerve-wrecking. Well picture doing that 2-4 times a week (sometimes more if you are lucky!) and then think about how tired you would be if you never soothed yourself after that nerve-wrecking audition or performance? You’d be beat too right?!)

Actors have to be so kind to themselves and learn to soothe those nerves, deboot and then reboot. I didn’t know all of this when I first moved to LA. Because I wasn’t mindful. And I didn’t even know what that even was until I started studying at Anthony Meindl’s Acting Studio. I know I’ve tooted my horn about him before, but his studio is really a great place for actors. It helps you really discover who you are as a person, which is SO IMPORTANT for an actor (since you need to sell yourself and know who and what you are. How you tick. What you feel about certain subjects and about being in certain situations. THAT is what gets you the job… or at least what sets you aside from the other actors that have walked into the casting room.) He has a blog that he posts every week, and is sometimes even featured on Backstage, which gives acting and even LIFE lessons. You can check them out here! I recommend them for all people in all creative career paths and he has a great book that is very similar to The Artist’s Way (which I highly recommend too! (if you haven’t done it yet)) that teaches you something in each chapter, encouraging you to be more mindful, and then gives you an exercise/homework assignment at the end (of each chapter) to help put you on the road to mindfulness.

After studying at AMAW for a few weeks, I started trying new ways of mindfulness… such as meditation, encouraging myself to take up more yoga classes, go on more walks and take more moments to really “sit with myself” and my feelings. To start asking myself “why???” Why am I feeling this way? Why did I really just snap at my roommate?? What’s really bothering me deep down there?And I started getting to the route of things 🙂 No joke! I started reading more books, such as The Untethered Soul, and pushing myself through it. (No. It is BY NO MEANS an easy read. FAIR WARNING! For instance… I had a girlfriend text me a month ago and asked me if I ever finished it. “No,” I replied… “Why??” I asked. “Because it’s the hardest read everrrrrrr,” she replied. “I tried and I just can’t get into it.” I laughed because it is. And it was coming from a female that thoroughly enjoyed reading books like Hemingway and Jane Austin. I told her how I’ve been stuck on Chapter 12 since April and we had a good laugh… Well, it is now September. BUT I picked it back up yesterday and am making it my goal to finish it.)

I tend to have a lot of great ideas and get really excited about a lot of different things so sometimes I don’t finish everything… (I’m sure a lot of people are like this. Especially today living in a society that is so easily distracted… I don’t think I need to go on here. We all know what distractions I’m talking about.) But this is also really hard for someone that is a perfectionist. And something I am working on. So… in working on letting go of my fears, comes me letting go of my perfectionism 🙂  I started this blog when I didn’t know what was going on with my health. I was too far in it, yes! So it was probably good that I gave it up… but I also decided to pick it BACK up even though I didn’t think it was any good or had any direction. Even though there was a huge gap of time and I felt the need to fill in the blanks for my readers. I opened my lab top and allowed myself to allow my mind to wander and go where my mind needs to go. Even though I sit here writing to you while I’m healing from my scoliosis surgery… YEP!! (Don’t worry, I will eventually get to that, but for now, I’m not allowing my “perfectionism” to get the best of me 😉 )

So I write this to encourage others to conquer their fears one by one, with me! Cuz that’s what makes life so adventurous, interesting and that’s what opens doors! So pick up that novel you still haven’t finished, call that friend you haven’t talked to in ages and miss or go ask your boss for that promotion you know you deserve! Cuz what’s the worst that can happen?? Ask yourself that one. It helps! Plus it’ll be more fun for me to have someone to do it with 😉 Comment below on what you are working on. I want to hear from you! :))

Finally Whole

I moved back from living in California after 5.5 years, to my parents home in rural, Warren, New Jersey. I have a group of five best girl friends from high school and twelve girlfriends from my college sorority that I roughly keep in touch with. Although everyone was welcoming and nice, with the occasional check-in texts of “Hey! How ya doin’?”, I felt lonely. And I didn’t feel better until I saw an Instagram post that said “As your life changes so will your circle”. This was a huge “A- ha!” moment for me because relationships, friendships in particular, change as we grow older and I had not really and truly recognized that until that point in time. (They say you can hear something a million times but you won’t really hear it, until you are ready to.)

On the east coast, I found my friends had less time for trips to the nail salon and hour-long phone sessions, due to grown up responsibilities such as jobs, children, husbands, fiancés etc.  (Not that I was making many trips to the salon because of how sick I felt.) LA, however, was very different. My friends are at different stages and on different pages, therefore they had more time for the leisurely hang sesh.  Before I saw that post, I felt so alone. Even more so than I had felt in LA! It felt like my friends didn’t even care that I had moved back home or that I was sick for that matter! (Keep in mind I thought I was dying. “Haha!”, you can laugh… But now, no seriously, I thought I was dying… and no one cared.) But when I saw that post, things changed for me. I saw all of the new relationships I had made since I had moved, and allowed myself to put my pride aside and fully dive into them with no fear and all thanks.

One of my girlfriends from LA called me a few days ago- which triggered me to write this entry- and cried her eyes out to me. My heart broke for her. Especially because I knew EXACTLY where she was and it is painful. Loneliness, I feel, is one of the most awful feelings in the world. It’s like you’re in a big room calling out and no one is listening… or a black pit in your stomach that’s slowly spreading to finally engulf you. You feel so A LONE. Nothingness. It’s so funny, that in a city as populated and as busy as LA is, it can make you feel like this… The loneliest person on the planet, if you aren’t the type to feed in to it’s “bullshit”.

Let me elaborate. I’m a hard worker and a deep thinker. Surface never entered my vocabulary until I moved to LA. Because it is made up of so many surface-like people. Most people that move to LA are independent, strong and are fighters. Some of them are exceptionally talented. Others just have a lot of grit. Usually the people I’ve met and have established ever-lasting relationships with, I didn’t meet or really start hanging out with, until after three years of being in LA. I still had my bestie from when I was thirteen out there with me for the first two years, so I didn’t need real, genuine connections because I knew I always had her to come home to. So everything was about networking for me. Even when I wasn’t working, I was “working” it. (“Oh! He’s a producer??” “Sure! I’ll go to the party with you,” I’d say to my love interest I met on the set of an indy-Pilot going nowhere. Only to come home in tears when he tried kissing me at the end of the night. My bestie would always say to me, “Why did you go?!” I always responded with, “I thought he wanted to be friends!” (This is a forever, on-going issue that I, until recently, had a problem with… I always thought people- guys in particular- just wanted to be my friend.) “He’s a douchebag… no douchebag wants to be your friend in this town!” my bestie would always say. (She’s very “Jersey” ;P ) I finally started believing her when she moved back to Jersey and I was left for dead with those wolves.

That’s when I started to widdle through the social climbers and the “I just wanna get in your pants-ers” and met some authentic, talented and amazingly REAL people. But it took time. And I used to always think how time was of the essence. I wasn’t getting any younger (though my skin never showed it, thanks to my genetics and “healthy-living” style 😉 ) and my career was going nowhere. I constantly put my career before friendships and relationships. During the 5.5 years I lived out there, the two other roomates I had, other than my NJ bestie, were never home. My energy somehow attracted these two “never-homers”, which led to my very hermit-style life. I had “friends” that I worked with at Skybar and “friends” in my acting classes or “friends” I met on sets or at networking events, but I didn’t have the time to further those relationships because I was constantly working. Which led to a very lonely lifestyle :'(

Let’s double-back a notch: My high school bestie and I moved out to LA after our other high school bestie decided to follow her heart and move in with a guy she met and fell in love with at a work convention. She followed her heart all the way to Orange County, California, and we followed six months later. We both had a hard few years, during this point in our lives, due to addiction and trauma in our families. I threw myself into my work and didn’t eat properly, resulting in my battle with an eating disorder… which I will get into at some point in another entry…, but I basically side-tracked myself and the pain I was going through, my thoughts, my need to eat and my hunger for connection, with my need to further my career.

My girl ended up getting married to the guy and moved away to Florida, and she said something to me that I still think about to this day… she said “I hope you don’t look back and regret all the good times you’ve missed studying for auditions.” Now, I hate regrets because I think everything is a lesson-learned and helps form the person you are today. But I do wish I would’ve given up a few more shifts or missed a few more auditions, in order to have spent more time with her and my other bestie out there, before they left. Now, also looking back on it, I couldn’t have afforded it, (and I am too hard on myself) but if I could’ve made it happen, knowing all I know now, I would’ve. She and I had a small falling out after that, in which the details are frivolous, but since then, have reconnected on a whole new level 🙂 Although she resides down in Bradenton, Florida now, and we don’t get to see each other or speak with each other as often, our relationship is even stronger and we have a better understanding for, and fully value, the strong women the both of us have become.

So… back to me fending for myself with the wolves… I finally started to see all that my bestie was then talking about, two years before I moved back to New Jersey. Unfortunately it was my body getting sick that helped bring me to this awareness. This was around the time I joined the Strait Jacket Society Comedy Troupe and also the time that my father and sister decided to both come to visit me within days of each other. (If any of you have ever lived somewhere else and had to receive a visitor, you know how draining it can be! Well I had two of the most stubborn and hard to please people come to visit me within two days of each other. Needless to say, it was exhausting! And the spiral for my health’s downfall.)

Now my lifestyle and workaholic tendencies were what were the actual problem, but the people that I still had so many issues with, were the trigger. (It’s interesting how many things make up a human life and accompany our way of survival… my body was being plagued by “fad diets and athletic trends” such as electrolyte-depleting hot yoga or candida cleanses (which I might add, I do not believe in any more. The “mucuos” I saw coming out of my butthole- I do not lie, was not candida but my mucousal lining due to my intestines being bruised and abused by liquids and spices deemed “healthy” but were actually harmful.) Anyways, while my body was being harmed by fads and trends, my soul was being worn down by my need to hang on to past grudges and anger I had refused to come to terms with. And my heart was being deprived of love and human connection. All this led to my health’s downward spiral and was the start for so many changes in my life.

But, like many trials and tribulations in life, there is always an upside 🙂 It also awakened my writing skills! But with creativity also comes judgement from your inner critic. And mine is definitely a lot more vicious than others. The sad part is that while I was going through this and depleting my immune system, I also was establishing so many new friendships and meeting so many awesome people! Unfortunately a lot of them didn’t understand and teased me often about “always being sick.” Looking back now, yes, I did get physically ill. But I also see how my heart and my soul fell ill. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I wasn’t nurturing myself. I didn’t have the energy to go out and have fun with my friends which led to more loneliness and more illness and created a vicious spiral. Being a lone is the mind of an over-thinker’s playground. I started to drive myself crazy. (My biggest fear!! Was I really going crazy?! Depression runs in my family!! Am I depressed?? Am I addicted to something?? Am I really going CRAZY??!!) I constantly thought that I was dying… BUT no doctors knew it yet. Hence, I was alone in a room screaming at the top of my lungs and no one was answering.

But the few “real” friendships I was able to establish and nurture in LA, were what got me through my time and pain there. And in the end, were the ones who advised me to take a break from LA, my acting career and the life I had built out there, and go back to New Jersey to be nurtured by my family. They loved me and had concern for my well-being and I was so thankful for them. These are probably some of the most powerful relationships I have ever had, because they were developed at some of the most significant points in my life! Whether it was my teacher, my “sista from another mister”, my mentor or my chill guy-friend, they all left a significant mark on my heart and helped heal my soul.

Now, after going through all I’ve been through, and realizing how IMPORTANT it is for humans to have connections, my new relationships I’ve made here, back in Jersey, and the reconnections I’ve established, are that much more powerful. I love stronger and am no longer scared of getting hurt… because I believe it is true what they say “It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.” I miss my LA friends more and more every day, but that sadness I feel for their distance is comforted by memories and all I’ve learned from them. Maya Angelou says during times of crisis, you need to stop and say “thank you”. Embrace it. Because it is a teaching moment, and you will be so much stronger once you’ve gone through it and come out on the other end. I’m a true example of this.

“So did you date in LA?” (Cuz you wouldn’t be lonely if you just dated in LA.) UGH! I hate this one. First, let me explain something… I was always in relationships growing up. Hell, I was boy crazy since I knew what a boy was! I played with my dolls and oogled over the Disney Princess fairy tales. My father was never around and when he was, he would take his stresses out of work on us, constantly yelling and picking on us for whatever we weren’t doing right. In high school and even college, I replaced his absence with abusive and toxic boyfriends. I jumped from one toxic relationship to the next. (Don’t get me wrong, I’ve come to terms with my Father’s tendencies- hell I developed them, I have to be! But I am also thankful for how hard he works and the life he was able to provide for me, my sister and brothers, but I needed you to see the big picture.) I see now how I reveled in the drama  and you see now why I became an actor ;P So when I finally moved to California, I was done with these men and relationships. I knew they were toxic but I still couldn’t wrap my head around how to move forward with healthy ones… so “I didn’t have time for relationships!” (Another thing I picked up from my Father… the man who “never had time” for anything.) I dated the occasional Joe-schmoe for fun, but I kept all men I met cocktailing or dancing at “LA’s newest pop-up hot spot” at arms length. I also said it was because I was “finding myself”. But I see now that it was because I was scared. They wanted to use me and I could see it, but I was too scared to tell them to heeve-hoe and move on… What if “they were the person that could help me ‘make it.'” (Insert astonished face emoji!)

Make it. “It”. What really is “it”? I know I’m getting perhaps a bit too deep right now, but I didn’t realize that that “it” was inside me until I moved home. I started finding myself and getting in touch with myself while studying at Anthony Meindl’s Acting Studio (which I HIGHLY recommend)… and even more so, studying with Victor Villar-Hauser, whom has broken away from AMAW’s Studio now, and has established a prosperous and soul-riveting Studio that I even more so recommend for actors at any level or stage of the game (can you tell how much I am missing LA now… and class! Ugh! Sigh…) but getting back to me and my hunt for “myself”… the day I REALLY dug deep, my world stopped and my roots finally sunk in from my own two feet, was the day I looked in the mirror and told myself “I love you” and meant it. And that didn’t happen until I moved back to my parents’ home in New Jersey. It didn’t happen until I hit rock bottom. Until I laid in the fetal position on my bedroom floor which I laid on so many years ago as a teenager, also during a time I was “finding myself”, and cried my eyes out. Cried my eyes out for my health… for my pride… for my heart… for my body… my soul, and finally let myself feel sorry for myself. Let myself wallow in all the pain and misery and then told myself, “I would be alright”. That I’ve accomplished so much in my life already. That I’ve inspired so many people around me and continue to inspire myself. Until I could see all this and feel all this and look myself in the eye and tell myself that “I am beautiful” and really and truly mean it, I was not ready to be loved. Or to return that love.

My Mom had told me about an exercise Oprah spoke about on one of her “Super Soul Sundays” interviews, encouraging people to look themselves in the eye, in the mirror, every day, and tell themselves how much they love themselves. When I finally saw the interview my Mom spoke about, Oprah exclaimed, “It works! It really does!!” with such joy in her eyes, I could see how happy her soul was and wanted that too.

And now that I am, and have, I feel so empowered and ready for a healthy and loving relationship with another human being. A partner. I go to bed at night and ask God for three things… to bring me my husband, an acting job that will enable me to support myself and to continue my road to good health. And then I wake every morning thanking him for that beautiful day. I do this because I know now, that all I ask for is just around the corner. I have faith, I have peace and I love myself. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my days of ups and downs. Oh trust me, I am human and I do!! But every day gets easier for me in trusting that that step backwards was just another step to propel me two more forwards… and until then, I will be happy and thankful for the friendships I have made, the family I have that supports me and have become my rock and all the love that surrounds me. Because I am no longer lonely, I finally feel whole again 0:) And THAT is a huge accomplishment.

 

Acupuncture Works

Hello again! I know it has been a while since I last posted, but I needed to fully and truly “dive in” to my health experience and concentrate on getting myself better. From a mind stand point, I needed to truly let myself “fall”. And by “fall” I mean I needed to let go, stop fighting myself and hit rock bottom. And from a body stand point, I needed to really figure out what was going on with me before I kept reporting about more unanswered answers. So I did. It was definitely ROUGH, but I learned a lot about myself and started feeling better!

I found an amazing acupuncturist that has an office in Warren, NJ. Her name is Dr. Xin Zheng (for those of you that are local) and she means business! I’ve been to other acupuncturists during my time living in LA, and most of my sessions were more calming and relaxing, but Dr. Zheng’s approach is much different. She is all about getting to the root of the issue (literally and figuratively). A friend of mine from high school’s wife studied under Dr. Zheng and highly recommended her, not only for her knowledge of acupuncture and chi, but also because she was a neurologist in China before moving to the states. I was suffering from chronic headaches, so I decided she was probably my best bet. Well, she definitely was intense. When she inserted the needles, in certain areas, I felt sensations and even a little pain… but I did not freak out. I had read up on her website about how these sensations are signs that the acupuncture is actually working.

Well, again, I did not freak out… until the room started spinning and I realized I was about to pass out! I know you’re probably thinking “what??!? Hell no, I’m not going to her!” but I stuck through it under the notion of “no pain, no gain.” My first visit was a hefty fee of around $160, maybe?? (Dr. Zheng charges $160-165 on your first visit, and each initial visit after that is $85, while her herbs are only $10 a bottle. She does, however, take some health insurances. Unfortunately she did not take mine.) After dealing with the payment, Dr. Zheng sat down with me and discussed my health issues… which took some time because I had A LOT! She then had me lay down, face up and worked on my front half (addressing my bowel issues and amenorrhea) and then had me sit in a chair to work on the herniated discs in my neck. That is where she poked needles in my neck and tried turning and twisting the needles around to activate specific nerves. This then caused my pain to overwhelm me with nausea and I started to really freak out. “I’m about to faint! I think I’m gonna throw up!” I said to her. But that did not rattle Dr. Zheng. Nope. She just said, “Okay, you lie down.” I went home and slept the rest of the day but the next day I woke up feeling MUCH better! It was practically a miracle.

Dr. Zheng was also the health professional that diagnosed my depression. Very simply, she held my wrist and said “Ahhh you worry!” “Oh! … You angry!” then felt around again, digging… “Ahhhhh no! Depression!” And in that simple moment, I started to cry. She certainly hit a nerve and she hadn’t used any needles yet that session. I finally stopped trying to cover it up and make excuses that my health was why I didn’t “feel good” and agreed that I was in fact, the awful word, “depressed”. Gasp! It was true. I was denying it for so long until finally a little asian woman under-simplified it for me. She listened to me cry about all of my health problems, my acting career, lack of relationships and how I just moved back from California, was living at home with my parents at 30 years-old and felt hopeless. The little woman told me to occupy my mind and go work for my Dad and gave me some herbal pills to take three times a day and sent me on my way. Two weeks later, I felt like myself again! Eureka!

However, there was still my lack of period we needed to address, stomach issues and chronic headaches and neck and back pain. I still have not found the answer for my amenorrhea, my stomach issues got better, but I still have my issues and my back issues I did end up correcting… but I will forever have issues with it. I guess my journey towards good health would be just that, a “journey” and I’ve accepted the fact that it will take time… and I’ll continue to share them with you, as best I can. And I hope to help others along the way. Ciao for now. And namaste 0:)